I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She even gives head with a lisp.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
