maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
