I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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