there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
