Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
