Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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