how can u be prego again
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
