My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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