I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
