My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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