I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
