Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
