Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
