If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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