I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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