ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
