you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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