Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
