don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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