whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
