Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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