Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
