My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
