Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
