Sponge bath it is.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
