Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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