dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
