Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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