you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
