Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
