I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
