You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
