Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
