i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
