Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
