new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
