my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
