If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
