Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
