just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
