Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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