I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
