I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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