I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
