the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
