Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
