its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
soo... how was my night?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
