he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
