He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
high people should be assigned attendants
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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