he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
my liver is dry heaving
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
