Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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